DTR

(dated 1/13/10... I just never got around to posting it til now, oops!)

Its taken six months, but I finally feel like my social life has settled into something I am comfortable and content with. At first it was hard, maybe because I was the peppy girl from Californa who didn't quite understand the East Coast conventions of how to make friends out here. I still don't think I really get how it works, but time and patient persistence has finally won out. I finally feel like I have a steady group of people from my class who I can depend upon for ordering pizza to the library at 10pm, or for going out on the occassional night when we don't have a million things to worry about for the following day, or for discussing guy issues when we've hit a DTR wall.



Last night Rupa and I decided to celebrate our friendships by throwing a potluck dinner party at our place. Once we settled on a date, it took us another week to acutally send out invites, because we had to juggle which boys (of those we'd dated or were dating) to invite to avoid the most amount of awkwardness. My biggest issue was that I wanted to invite the guy I've been dating as well as a friend who I still have a major crush on. Lets start with the basics. For the last three weeks, I've been dating this lawer who I met at New Years at his party. On each of our dates, he has been beyond chivalrous (paying for meals AND my cab) and entirely drama-less. He calls (not just texts), he brought me flowers and chocolates on the second date. Our conversation is interesting and engaging. Hes got a ridiculous knowledge of DC restaurants and bars and knows all the best places for pretty much any type of food you can think of (and is totally willing to take me to all of them). Only thing is something is missing. I hate to admit it, but part of that something is the chase. I feel like I'm being shoffered into this relationship, not walking into it on my own accord. Is it immature to still want that chase?



I hear people talk about online dating, I find the biggest underlying problem is the expectations you have are different with people you meet on the web. The most pervasive complaint is that there is no mystery or wonder when both of you have already scoured one another's profile and know that you're mutually interested with similar expectations of a fruitful and long term relationship. In that sense I feel like I'm in the same boat, except this time I fear its a little one sided. He, being much older than I (early thirties), is probably looking for something more serious than I am ready to provide. He's done all the traditional things to woo a girl, and has left nothing to doubt. Maybe in 7 years, that will be exactly what I want, but right now, it just doesn't do it for me. Theres no mystery.



Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there's Mr. Mystery who I've been frustratingly chasing after since I met him a few months ago. Looking back on that sentence, you'd think I'd realize my idiocy and give up already. But I can't help it. He's got the rugged charm, the cute body, and fantastic (Italian) cooking skills. Just clearly, none of the committment skills. We've hung out multiple times, though the majority of it has been under the pretext of studying, not a legitimately defined date. Yet every time we usually end up chatting and sipping our coffee instead of studying. What am I supposed to do with that? Feel free to clear up this mystery for me.

I'm stuck somewhere in the center of the frenzy that is 'dating in DC'. But hey, its fun and at least I'm putting myself out there. As for the dinner party, I took a deep breath and invited both. Don't worry, all went smoothly. If only my life could run the same way =).